Every New Year’s Eve Darren came to the Fortune Palace for a takeaway, trudging through the slush to its garish façade. And every year Mr Wang gave no indication of ever having seen him before.

Every year Darren got a free calendar for having spent over £10. And every year Darren took his order of Chinese curry, half and half and chicken balls, home to his bedsit.

Malware raged on his laptop and Trump raged on his TV. He turned them off, took a gulp from his can of Tyskie and looked again at the calendar.

It still had the same picture on the front, Mr Wang with a full head of black hair, Mrs Wang in her best clothes and their son Gareth aged 9, who was now a City Councillor.

On page 2 was a cartoon featuring all the creatures of the Chinese Zodiac against a blue night sky, the years of each were listed in a grid. Every year a story.

2014 -Year of the Horse. The start of Darren’s gambling. A Big win on the 2.30 at Towcester.

2015- Jane had found out about his affair with Jacqui from HR and thrown him out. Some of his best friends deserted him. Year of the sheep.

2016- £500 on the 4.15 at Redcar. Ouch. Year of the Monkey.

2017- Took an extra job as a milkman was meant to clear his gambling debts. Kept falling asleep, was fired. Year of the rooster.

2018- A grand on a greyhound. Which trailed home last. Year of the dog.

2019- Got arrested and convicted for hiding some of the company’s takings, these had gone straight to the bookie. Spent a night in a police cell. Year of the Pig

2020- Suspended sentence. Then he had covid, then he had long covid, lay on his back coughing whilst a rodent skitted across the floor. Year of the rat. 7 years of bad luck.

2021- Got a new job on a building site and started to pay maintenance. Joined gamblers anonymous. Year of the Ox.

2022- Bought a cat for company. Called it Shere Kahn. Year of the Tiger

2023- Shere Kahn got run over on Whitchurch Rd. Late at night. Frozen in the headlights like a ….., he couldn’t bear to think about it.

Year of the rabbit.

2024-Took up Tae-Kwondo. Became obsessed. Got a belt. Year of The Dragon

2025- His old best friend moved in with Jane his ex-wife. Year of the snake.

But Darren didn’t feel unlucky anymore. Sometimes in life you had good fortune, sometimes you made your own, his disappointments had definitely been more folly than magical intervention. He wasn’t quite the man he hoped he’d be and life hadn’t lived up to his youthful expectations, whatever could? The Chinese zodiac was just cartoonish pictures.

Perhaps 2026 would be the year of the lion, maybe the year of the toad.

Darren put the calendar down and stepped back out in to the frosty night, he had a sort-of-date and was ready for anything.