Whilst Idly watching Winterwatch in his cabin, Bradleigh Salterton, Captain of The Seahorse, made a discovery. He had been without a parrot since Lockdown. He had sworn off the creatures after his last six, all of whom had shared the names of notable tv presenters and had got him into one scrape after another. But he was now missing having a feathered friend around. One who could talk.

And right before his eyes, here was presenter Chris Packham conversing with a crow!

Salterton was intrigued, it was immediately clear that the problem he had in the past was not with the birdliness of his companions but their parroticity. The next morning he was on Cawcado first thing with an order for a raven.

The new arrival immediately announced that it would like to be known henceforth as Claudia Winkelman and at first, things proceeded well, the chatty corvid was witty and likeable and ingratiated herself with the whole crew.

During the weekly card game with rival pirate captains,( Fakebeard, Blackbeard and Eggbeard), Winkleman, who the others had no idea could talk was tactfully able to alert Salterton to his opponents bluffing and net him 500 Dubloons!

After they had left he was delighted.

“Ha. Ha, It’s like taking candy from babies.” He declared. “let it be our little secret!”

“Yes” she replied “But are you sure you can trust all the crew to keep your secret! I mean could any of them be traitors?”

Salterton thought quickly considered the past lives of his crew. It was true that all of them had mutinied on royal ships or had told state secrets to a French wh0re. That’s why they were pirates!

“I don’t mean against the king “ cawed the Crow, “but against you!!!!

Salterton was surprised. “Theres not a man among them who would undermine me” he declared. But he was far from certain of this even as he spoke!

“Wel, I saw Israel Zennor skulking outside during the game. And Lostwithiel Bude had a look in his eye last night. Who can you trust? Who is not as honest as they profess? It is for you to decide”.

The brave buccaneer considered the evidence. How had Fakebeard got to the galleon on the Spanish Main before him, when he had seen it first through his own spyglass?

By Thursday 11 members of his crew had walked the plank and an air of suspicion lingered from poop deck to stern. Still, rival pirates seemed to be aware of the movements of gold-laden frigates as soon as they had been spotted! And the identity of the true traitor was unknown!

Honest Jim, the cabin boy was the latest crew member suspected. On the discovery, in his hammock, of one of the Captain’s favourite socks.

As usual the whole crew gathered to decide the traitor’s identity.

“Arrr it was ee, Honest Jim, plain as the nose on my face!” said partially-sighted Pew looking up from the concertina he had been unsuccessfully learning for 27 years.

“Well I’m sorry, Jim, but its an open and shut case, Men! prepare the plank,” said Salterton wearily. “So young, so sad” he thought as Jim’s arms were bound.

“Captain may I at least defend myself” said the precocious 11 year old, “and maybe point you in the direction of the real traitor!”

“Proceed” said Salterton, “For all the good it will do.”

“Well firstly I don’t know how the sock got there, but only one person has a key to your dressing room, and they have black feathers and a beak!

Secondly, they sleep in the Crow’s Nest!!!! The perfect place to spot ships first!

And thirdly, only one member of the crew can fly! So only one person could have told other captain’s where the ships were.”

Captain and Crew’s faces turned slowly to the perch where Ms Winkleman and had been standing to find it empty. The porthole behind the perch was open and, heading for the horizon in the direction of Brazil, with a single one of the Captain’s socks in its beak, was the dark shape of the true traitor.