Once upon a time there was a tiny little man called Jimmeryflobbit. He was a bit bigger than a daffodil but quite a lot less bigger than a sheep. He lived in a small house made of grass in a field by a stream on the border between Whales and Engerland. People who walked by this place didn’t know it was there as it didn’t actually exist. Except on the days when it rained and the sun shone, then if they were lucky people seeing rainbows might catch a glimpse of Jimmerybobbit’s house. Every morning he got dressed. This took Jimmeryflobbit a long time. For one thing, he had to lace up his boots which had 36 holes each and Jimmerybobbit only had the littlest hands. He also had to put on his corset because he had a mighty big belly, usually full of the things that he liked to eat, like worm sandwiches and turnip burgers. If he didn’t wear his corset his belly would flop over onto his boots and trip him up. Every night Jimmerybobbit undid his corset and allowed his belly loose, whenever he did this he made a noise like “phewwwoarrrgghhh” of shear relief.

Once he was dressed, and after a breakfast of mole sausages, he would go off to work. It’s hard to say what his work was, some say that he would polish the gold at the end of the rainbow. Others say that he would touch up the rainbow colours with his paints. The truth is that only Jimmerybobbit ever knew what he did all day. Anyway, one day he went off to do whatever it was that he did, whistling and scratching his beard as he went ( his beard was extremely long so he tied it behind his ears with a blue ribbon) and pushing his empty wheelbarrow.

Jimmerybobbit hardly ever saw anyone, which was a shame because he spoke many languages and was currently learning Whaleish, so he could have a good conversation with just about anyone. On this day though he saw a tiny little woman in the distance, sitting cross legged on a daisy covered tump. She had big blue eyes and golden hair, as well as a huge belly and big blonde beard tied behind her ears with a red ribbon. Jimmerybobbit couldn’t believe his eyes, she was so beautiful.

“Hello” he said “I’m Jimmerybobbit, what’s your name?”

“I’m Popperybilge” she said in a sad voice. “I’m stuck here because my corset broke and I keep tripping over my belly.”

“Don’t worry Popperybilge” said Jimmerybobbit “I can help. I’ve been pushing this empty wheelbarrow around for years and never knew what it was for!”

He parked his wheelbarrow beside her, and lifted her gently in. He pushed her steadily across the fields and through the woods until they returned to his grass house just as the sun was setting.

“Would you like to marry me and live here?” he asked Popperybilge

“Yes please “she said.

Jimmerybobbit was very pleased, not least because he was puffed out and couldn’t push her any further.

And so they tied their beards together with a silver ribbon and lived happily ever after.