Thanks a lot Santa. No.sorry. I think I’m doing it again.

You know, I cant help it, there’s something about my tone that makes everything I say sound like I’m being sarcastic.

When Steve asked me to marry him my heart was bursting. All I said was, “May as well”

And when he announced he was running off with Sian in accounts all I could muster was “That’s nice for you” when the things I wanted to say could have flown from my mouth in a torrent of furious despair.

And now one month later, at 10 minutes past midnight on Christmas morning, as I wrap the box of sticklebricks and polish off the Miniature Heroes that weren’t supposed to be opened til tomorrow, I think about the kids upstairs and wonder if they have enough belief, and try to find words to describe my feelings now you’ve finally repaid mine. What if they don’t? Yeah, Cheers for that you know how to cheer a girl up.

Anyway, Hope it wasn’t too much trouble.

You certainly took your time. I was 5 when i got my animals confused and wrote you the first letter.

“Dear Santa, plees get me a zebra witch can fly, Love Joanne.”

I think my cynical tone of voice may have started to develop that Christmas day when I got a tamogochi instead. Hmm just what I always wanted.

But the thing is I knew you were real and would step up when needed. And that I didn’t need to wheedle and go all OTT.

The next year I sent the same letter, only this time I spelled it right and knew the difference between zebras and reindeers, because my brothers had laughed at me for a whole year about the letter which they had somehow seen. I never really trusted my parents again after that. But the Zebra idea had stuck. So this time I bought my own stamps from my pocket money and took it to the post box myself. Result. Playstation.

I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful, it was just my tone of voice.

Years passed. Trainers, headphones and Bungee jumping came and went.

But I never lost faith.

Until this year when I almost didn’t post the letter. What if someone saw? I mean I’m a primary school teacher and mother of 3. But something made me do it.

And something made me come down the stairs at 12.02 and bump intp the big, smelly stripy thing with wings trying desperately to fit under our plastic Christmas tree,

I wont bore you with our magical, timeless ride above the clouds, I guess you’ve been there and done that with bells on, Serengheti passing below, huge blue moon on the left, blah de blah de blah.

The zebra just flew back off again as soon as we got back and though we’d seen dawn in Honolulu, only 2 minutes had passed, as they do in magicland! And now here I am. Anyway, I just wanted to say you know, cheers, ….and that. Love from Jo, 39 and a half.

PS honestly if you could see me you would observe that I’m beaming ear to ear and fat tears are rolling down my face. What am I like eh, Santa?