Bill's day out

by Lewis

“Stop squinting” Sharon said. “You look retarded.”

“I don’t think you can say that anymore.” Bill replied with a restrained calmness he did not feel, eyes straining in the sunlight as he peered into the distance. “Yes I think it’s this way.”

“I tend not to take directions from the idiot who got us lost in the first place.”

Its just over there I'm sure.

“Oh good, more miles of boggy dirt.”

“It’s wetlands actually.” Bill ventured. “And it’s one of the most biodiverse ecosyst..”

“I swear Bill. No one will find your body.”

Bill wisely kept his mouth shut and focussed on his rucksack.He wondered where exactly they were. It had all seemed pretty straightforward. A romantic walk, see the birds, get back to nature, find a sunny spot, ask her to marry him and the rest was history. She’d always talked about how they didn't do enough together.

The reality had been drizzle, fog, wet feet, wet attitudes and the realisation that his poor at best, sense of direction was even worse in this endless morose flat space.

“Just think how nice it will be to put our feet up tonight and relax, just the two of us.” He gambled hopefully.

“Just the two of us? Its been just the two of us all day. And honestly i'm not sure the both of us are going to make it back.”

“Well, how about a little treat. I bought lunch and i made your favourite cola ice lollies.” Bill dropped the bag to the floor and began to rummage around.

That did sound good, Sharon thought, but after a few minutes and some sounds she recognised distinctly as his compressed panic, escaping in little gasps, she began to suspect that the Cola cubes had not gone quite as Bill had planned. Despite herself she smiled. How did it always manage to go wrong for him? It wasn't that he didn't try, it just always seemed to not turn out as he expected. It was one of the many things she loved about him. But it drove her mad as well.

“Can’t wait for an ice lolly.” She said. “Just what i need right now, the suns come out as well. I really, can’t, wait, for, my…”

“Yes. Ok fine. I get it. The cubes have not gone quite to plan. They’ve melted a little bit.” He still had his back to her, as she tried to contain her amusement and hunger.

“A slight hiccup thats all.” He held up the sandwich box and handed it to her. “Not quite as waterproofed as i hoped.” She said nothing, just picked up a soggy cheese and cola sandwich that had turned to mush.

“Ah my favourite, satanic pate.”

A silence as vast as the sky above them stretched out. And then Sharon laughed and threw her arms around him. “God I love you, you absolute knob.”

“Well that's good to hear. I know this hasn't quite gone to plan. But actually. One sec.” He dropped down to root around in his bag. He looked up at her as she smiled down with a look of slight confusion.

“There was something I wanted to ask you.”