When death closes a door, life opens a freezer

by Lewis

“The thing about zombies is...I find them very arousing. I don't know if it's the groans, or the shuffling movement, or maybe just the blank stares. But it really gets me going.” Jessica T Horningdon amounnced this to her enraptured audience with a wry smile and a wicked glint in her eye.

The book reading had been another roaring success with queues down the street. The chapter reading had been, well fine. After the first few mimosas to calm her nerves. The reading big was not her forte. She shined during the questions with her natural charm and wit that made her so engaging.

“And what inspired you to write this story?” An excited voice asked from the crowd. Not unexpected or imaginative but it set her up perfectly.

“It was a funeral actually. A friend of the family we had grown up with. He was a friend of my father's, but. Well, more recently we had become very close.”

She paused for impact. A look of sadness crossing her face.

“So at the funeral as the rosary was being said, with each touch off the beads I thought of a moment we had shared. His strong arms. His grizzled face. I prayed I wouldn't forget him.”

She had them now.

“Then later at the wake, there was an open casket. I couldn't bring myself to look. My father was crying softly in the corner. A playlist of his favourite music played softly in the background. I steeled myself. I knew I had to say goodbye. That moment, when I looked at his face, it hit me... I would still fuck this guy.”

A wave of laughter rippled across the room.

“From there it was a natural progression to Erotic Dawn: 27 candles later.” Jessica glanced across to her assistant who swiftly sprinted over to refill her glass.

“You know i’d plotted most of the first book by the time I got to the Samosas at the buffet. Sweet potato I think.”

I mean it's not so silly really. Ever since we were young, fear and sex have gone hand in hand. The tense thrill of discovery, the gross mess of it all. It is such a natural mix.” As she sipped from her Mimosa her face disappeared behind the wide glass, briefly distorting her smile into a wide flash of teeth.

“And the franchise was born.”

She finished the drink and smiled to the audience. It had been an overnight success. Sex. Romance. Zombies. Almost too easy.

Later, alone she stared out the full length window of her penthouse apartment. It was quiet except for the electric murder of a large freezer that sat in the middle of the room. She sighed and finished her drink.

“What a day. The fans, as adoring as they are, can be somewhat tiresome.”

She walked over and opened the lid.

“But they do love that story. Anyway, how was your day darling?”