Fourteen Minues and Twenty-Two Seconds

by Russ

Danny first saw the most beautiful woman in the world during breakfast at Lou’s Cafe. He looked up while forking an end of sausage into his mouth just as she did the same with a neatly folded strip of bacon. Izzy smiled politely at the staring man before shifting focus to her eggs.

The second time Danny saw the most beautiful woman in the world was two hours later at the post office. Having navigated the turns of the twin sets of retractable barriers laid out in mirror image, Izzy stepped forward to collect an oversize package wrapped in too much parcel tape just as Danny moved to place his own cumbersome item on the scales. They each registered the funny little coincidence on their faces and went back to the tasks at hand. Danny wondered if the most beautiful woman was receiving a parcel from anyone special.

It was lunchtime when Izzy called into Boots to pick up a meal deal and a four-pack of those tiny tins of Vaseline lip balm which fit in her back pocket without making it look too much like her bum had a geometric growth on it. Danny had just picked up some new toenail clippers when he turned to find himself standing directly behind her. They were beside the brightly coloured display of personal lubricants, some of which, apparently, tingle. Izzy turned around just as Danny was taking a deep breath and discovered he was so close she had to take a step back to regain her balance. Wordlessly, they passed each other and left the aisle at opposite ends. Izzy tried to brush away the notion that her hair had just been sniffed.

Danny didn’t see the most beautiful girl in the world again for the rest of the afternoon, but he did think about her. Three times was more than a coincidence, he thought. A fourth, and he should probably say something.

Being it was May, the travelling fairground had set up in the field behind the church which nobody seemed to own. Danny saw the most beautiful girl for the fourth time just as the sun sat on the horizon. She was approaching the stationary car at the bottom of the Ferris wheel. Strictly speaking, Izzy would have arrived at the car several seconds before Danny if their natural speeds had been maintained, but it only took a little extra effort for Danny to get there just ahead. After an awkward smile, Danny stepped into the empty car and, leaving the door wide open, turned to face the most beautiful woman.

‘This feels like destiny,’ he said.

Izzy did not join Danny in the car. Izzy frowned and turned to the friend who had been walking beside her. The two women folded their arms and looked to the ride attendant to indicate they would wait for the next car.

Once fully boarded, the Ferris wheel began its rotation, leaving Danny to spend precisely fourteen minutes and twenty-two seconds trying not to look at the most beautiful woman in the world from 360 different angles. Instead, he planned the most direct route from the bottom of the ride to the exit of the field.

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