The Millstone of Sin

by Dan

Do cheats prosper? Certainly, 30 years on Lee did not feel prosperous.

He remembered the musty, fusty, almost Victorian, central office of Green and Co., Kentish Town, where he’d been a Flash Harry, Jack-The-Lad office boy. He remembered making progress with Old Mr Green, the owner manager and with Samantha, the pretty blonde in finance.

Old Mr Green had made an exasperated speech to Lee concerning his son, Young Mr Green, who was supposed to be a Sales Executive but “walks round with a great big telephone always on his ear and no interest in the schmattah business at all! Compared to him, you’re like my own son!”

Then Kelvin Sunderland had walked in and threatened to take Lee’s rightful future away.

Kelvin was not chubby with a pink face, he’d been to university. Samantha preferred his easy charm to Lee’s aggressive banter, Old Mr Green was impressed by his “chutzpah” apparently and told him he was like a son too.

Kelvin was promoted to data clerk, looking at sales numbers sent in from local branches.

Old Mr Green was always worried that the worsening figures would lead him to an early grave. When he felt that way he shouted and threatened everyone. So Lee, alongside some other staff, had taken to doctoring takings, especially from the Nuneaton Branch, while the company slipped into serious trouble.

On the day Old Mr Green found out the real situation, Kelvin was on leave. The boss screamed blue murder. Whoever was responsible would pay with his job. Lee went to see him and told him Kelvin had fixed the figures.

The next morning Kelvin was sacked by blistering tirade in front of the whole office. Lee felt a short-lived sense of triumph.

Within three years of this incident Green and Co. went bust and Lee was made redundant. Samantha went off with Young Mr Green who became something in the city. Old Mr Green retired to shout at his nemesis Alan Sugar on telly, “Computer conschmuter it will never catch on!”

Lee drifted from job to job never getting promoted and married Fay, who was no Samantha.

Kelvin meanwhile became a famous radio Deejay and can still be widely heard to this day.


During the last bank holiday, beer in hand, Lee heard Kelvin presenting the popular “True Confessions” segment of his show on Radio 2. He decided to phone in, thinking that If Kelvin really was a good egg he’d laugh it off and Lee could get rid of the guilt he felt regarding the deejay.

“Thanks for that Sheila, I’m sure we can forgive that Croque-en-bouche based incident! Next on the line is Lee from Essex, who apparently has a confession involving me!” Said Kelvin cheerily.

“Hi, do you remember when we both worked at Green and co?” Lee asked hesitamtly.

“Was that the office where I was sacked for no reason?” responded Kelvin. His surprised tone was a warning light, Lee hesitated and then….. hung up, feeling stupid and ashamed.

What could he say when Kelvin challenged him about his actions?

“Dunno what happened to him,” continued Kelvin, in a seemless display of professionalism “Now, I’ve got Ross in Flintshire with a confession about a convulsing pig.”

And Lee was stuck with the millstone of sin.